How to increase or regain your libido?

There is no standard libido, no so-called ‘normal’ libido. Libido is unique to each individual. It changes throughout life. It's possible that after several years together, or after a long period of abstinence, you may feel less sexual desire towards a partner. And if this condition affects you, essential oils can help stimulate your libido thanks to their aphrodisiac properties. You can also use them during a massage for two.

What is libido?

Libido is the desire to engage in sexual activity. This sexual desire may be sudden, but generally arises in response to the attitude or the sight of one's partner, or to images or thoughts.
The intensity of desire will vary according to a number of factors:

• Sexual understanding with your partner
• The quality of the couple's relationship (routine, communication, etc.)
• Psychological state
• Significant events (bereavement, birth, illness, etc.)
• Stress
• Hormones (pregnancy, menopause, contraception, etc.)

What causes a loss of libido?

Reduced sexual desire can occur throughout our lives.
It can be linked to a number of factors, both physical and psychological, including the following:

• Stress: our minds can easily wander when we're under stress. We are then less available for moments of relaxation and sexual pleasure.
• Fatigue and lack of sleep: our bodies, being in a state of exhaustion, don't consider sexual pleasure to be vital. So it does everything it can to encourage us to take it easy and get some rest.
• Side-effects of medication: certain drugs such as antidepressants, antihypertensives, contraceptives, etc. have side-effects. You can find the side effects on your prescription.
• Lifestyle: excessive alcohol or tobacco consumption, drug use, poor diet, sedentary lifestyle, etc.
• Hormonal changes: menopause, pregnancy, contraception, menstruation, etc.
• Anxiety, depression, emotional shocks: loss of a job, death, a history of sexual trauma, financial problems, relationship problems, etc.
• Physical factors: chronic illness, injury, surgery, vitamin deficiency, etc.

As you can see, there are many factors that can affect our libido throughout our lives. If this condition is affecting you, don't hesitate to talk about it with your partner and/or a sexologist.

Can the contraceptive pill affect our libido?

The hormones in contraceptive pills can alter the levels of sex hormones in the body, which can affect libido. This varies from person to person, with some women noticing an increase while others may experience a decrease in sexual desire.

Contraceptive pills contain a synthetic version of the female sex hormones oestrogen and progesterone. The hormones modify ovulation and the menstrual cycle, but they also affect the body in general (such as headaches, nausea, weight gain, reduced libido, etc.).

The same applies to all hormonal contraceptives such as contraceptive implants, vaginal rings, contraceptive patches, IUDs, etc.

When you take contraception, it is important to check regularly whether the method is still working for you. If you experience a drop in libido or other side effects, you can talk to your doctor to see if there are alternative contraceptive options that are better suited to your body and your needs.

Can the copper IUD affect our libido?

The copper coil is a T-shaped device about 3 cm long that is placed in the uterus to prevent fertilisation. It acts on the spermatozoa by weakening them, making them less mobile and preventing them from travelling up the fallopian tubes to reach the egg. Unlike hormonal contraceptives such as the pill, patch, etc., the copper coil contains no synthetic hormones and has no direct negative impact on libido.

Why does pregnancy have an impact on libido?

Pregnancy can have both a positive and negative impact on libido. It fluctuates depending on the woman and the different stages of pregnancy.

1st trimester: Nausea, breast tenderness and fatigue can affect a couple's sex life and reduce desire.

2nd trimester: The discomforts subside and women generally regain their libido. During this period, women experience vasocongestion, which is characterised by an increase in blood flow to the lower pelvis. This increases the moisture and sensitivity of the vagina and can intensify a pregnant woman's sexual desire.

3rd trimester: major bodily changes, lower back pain, a very rounded abdomen, tiredness and difficulty finding a comfortable position can all reduce sexual desire.

A number of other factors can play a part in the drop in libido, such as :

• Hormonal changes: oestrogen and progesterone levels increase considerably. This can affect libido, particularly during the first and third trimesters.
• Concerns about the baby
• Stress and anxiety
• Emotional changes due to hormonal changes

It's important to remember that pregnancy affects each woman differently and that each woman may have a higher or lower libido during pregnancy. If you experience libido problems during pregnancy, it's important to talk to your doctor or midwife to determine the causes and possible solutions.

Does the menopause affect libido?

The menopause is a transitional period in a woman's life, generally occurring between the ages of 45 and 55. During this period, the ovaries stop producing female sex hormones, particularly oestrogen. This reduction in hormones can cause vaginal dryness in some women. This lack of natural lubrication can make intercourse painful and have an impact on sexual desire.

In addition to vaginal dryness, the menopause can also cause urogenital atrophy, meaning that the tissues of the vulva become thinner, less elastic and more fragile, and can lead to inflammation during intercourse. This is due to the lack of blood flow to the vagina, which also makes it less sensitive to sexual stimulation. In this case, we recommend that you consult a doctor or sexologist.

But physical symptoms are not the only ones, and at the time of the menopause some women may experience psychological discomfort. The body changes and some women no longer feel desirable to men and/or women. If you feel unwell, it's essential to consult a doctor.

However, it is important to note that every woman is different and that the menopause does not affect all women in the same way.

What causes men to lose their libido?

Lack of libido doesn't just affect women! Men can also experience a drop in libido, manifested by a sharp decline in sexual desire and erectile dysfunction. These problems may be caused by a psychological condition or be the result of side effects from illness, medication or alcohol consumption.

Lack of libido in men can be caused by the couple. If this is the case, the partners need to become aware of it and together find effective ways of boosting sexual desire. You can, for example, use your imagination and spice up your sexual relationship by trying new positions, using accessories... the aim being to get out of your routine and surprise the other person to increase their sexual desire.

To regain your sexual desire, you can use your imagination and spice up your sexual encounters, try out new positions, use accessories...the aim being to get out of your routine and surprise the other person to increase their sexual desire.

Reduced testosterone levels

It's pretty simple to explain the constant sexual desire in men: men constantly secrete testosterone, around 6 to 7 times more than women. This hormone, secreted in part by the adrenal glands (located above the two kidneys) and the sexual organs (testicles and ovaries), is often considered to be the sex hormone and does indeed play a role in sexual desire. A drop in testosterone levels in men is a natural phenomenon that generally occurs with age, often from the forties or fifties onwards. This condition is known as male hypogonadism or testosterone deficiency.

Lack of self-confidence

Self-confidence and loss of libido in men can be linked in different ways. Here are some possible reasons for this correlation:

• Low self-esteem and negative body image: Concerns about physical appearance or complexes can create inhibitions during sexual relations and reduce desire.
• Pressure to perform sexually: When a man feels anxious or worried about his ability to satisfy his partner sexually, this can lead to a loss of libido or erectile dysfunction.
• Negative past sexual experiences: Traumatic sexual experiences or past erectile dysfunction can create feelings of insecurity and anxiety during subsequent sexual encounters.

Erectile dysfunction

Most erectile dysfunction is caused by stress, which interferes with the nerve signals needed to relax the penis muscles. Stress and anxiety lead to a release of adrenaline, a hormone that tends to tighten the penis muscles in particular, preventing an erection.

If the loss of libido persists or has a significant impact on quality of life, it is advisable to consult a health professional, such as a doctor or sexologist, to assess the situation and find appropriate solutions.

What are the best ways to boost your libido?

There are a few things you can do to restore your libido. Bear in mind that it's perfectly normal to have less desire to make love or to have less sexual intercourse, whether as a couple or in everyday life. It's important not to put pressure on yourself so as not to add to the stress.

Sexual desire varies from person to person, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's important to find tips that work for you and your partner.

Here are a few tips to help you increase your libido:

• Exercise regularly to reduce stress and improve blood circulation
• Eat foods known to stimulate the libido: seafood, ginger, dark chocolate, nuts, green leafy vegetables, red fruit, foods rich in zinc, etc.
• Reduce stress by practising meditation, yoga, deep breathing...
• Communicate openly with your partner
• Consult a health professional or sexologist
• Get enough sleep
• Explore your fantasies
• Create a routine to improve your self-confidence
• Relax by listening to soft music or having a massage

Our natural recipes to help you increase your libido

Massage

To boost your libido, try stimulating these points gently but firmly for 3 minutes every day. The point on the ankle and the two points on the stomach stimulate libido in women; for men, the point on the stomach treats impotence (erectile failure) and the one above the ankle, premature ejaculation. Be patient: these points are not magic buttons! Stimulating them once is not enough, and you may have to persevere for 10 to 20 days before you see an improvement.

Synergy recipes for massages

Massage for two

During foreplay, massage helps to relax, awaken the senses and boost arousal. Light effleurages and gentle caresses, with varying degrees of intensity, trigger the release of endorphins (well-being molecules) and contribute to your partner's pleasure, intimacy, complicity and heightened sexual desire.

The ideal essential oil is ylang-ylang. It is used for its aphrodisiac and relaxing properties. Its fragrances are as exotic as they are erotic... You can add a touch of sandalwood essential oil (harmonising) and take 1 drop of fresh ginger essential oil (sexual stimulant) orally, in the morning and at midday, every other week, for 1 month.

To increase your lover's arousal and restore the desire to have sex, massage with one of the synergies below. Start with effleurage strokes. Using the palm of your hand, gently make wide strokes, concentrating on the drop of the loins, the torso and the stomach. Then move on to kneading. Using your fingertips, linger on the trapezius, nape of the neck, thighs and buttocks. Finally, rub your scalp and the soles of your feet with closed fists.

Diffusion

Oral

Bath

Sources: Extracts from the books ‘Aromathérapia, le livre des huiles essentielles’ and ‘HUILES ESSENTIELLES, HUILES VÉGÉTALES & HYDROLATS : Mes indispensables’, by Isabelle Pacchioni, published by Editions Aroma Thera, and the book ‘Automassages aux huiles essentielles, guide visuel’ by Isabelle Pacchioni, published by Editions Leduc.s.